


WARMACHINEROX

by cm (mumblemutter)



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Iron Man 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumblemutter/pseuds/cm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony keeps changing Rhodey's passwords.</p>
            </blockquote>





	WARMACHINEROX

"What's my password," is the first thing out of Rhodey's mouth. No hello, no how are you, no hey Tony, your face looks kind of bruised in the video screen, are you all right?

"`Rhodesno1`, really? I expected more from you."

"I almost lost my security clearance after the third try. They wanted to bring me in for questioning, they were worried I was an imposter of some sort."

"What, like a clone? Surely that technology doesn't exist yet." Tony considers the possibility, concludes that he could come up with a working copy of Rhodey in approximately three months and fifteen days.

The thought is terrifying, so he shoves it away, into a box marked Too Disturbing To Contemplate, So Don't.

It's a good box, although it doesn't always stay closed.

"Password, Tony." Rhodey's got that getting-tired-of-your-shit look on his face. It must have been a taxing day: he usually lasts much longer than this.

"`I<3tonystark`."

"Doesn't work," Rhodey says a moment later.

"With a heart." He draws a less than three with his hands.

Rhodey makes a face, and cuts the line.

+

The second time Tony breaks into Rhodey's account, Rhodey calls Pepper, who calls Tony. "I'm in the middle of a meeting, Tony - running your company. Stop bugging James." She hangs up.

Tony calls her back. "I can't believe he went whining to you - and why do you always take his side, anyway? I'm hurt."

Pepper hangs up again.

Tony calls Rhodey, "You know they hang you for being a rat in the army."

"No, just for treason. Which - hey, guess what hacking into the classified account of a high ranking military officer is?"

"Uh, proactive fortification of military intelligence security systems? Also `GOAWAYTONY` \- really?"

"I'm hanging up now, Tony." There's a click, and Tony's left listening to dead air.

At least he's more polite than pepper.

+

The third time just confuses him. Tony goes to Pepper, says, "`Hot4moneymakers`? Who is he seeing and not telling me about? I don't think I approve of this."

Pepper rolls her eyes, mutters something under her breath about morons, and wanders off.

"I'm a genius, you know," Tony calls after her.

And so the stalking begins.

Rhodey makes it easy. Unfortunately, he also makes it boring.

Go to work. Come home. Protect the world from bad guys. Come home.

He goes on a date once, with a guy (a guy!) who's decidedly not nearly as rich as Tony is. Then again, few people are. "I didn't know you were gay," Tony says, calling him right as he's ordering. "All these years - you'd think you'd tell your best friend."

"I'm not - I'm sorry, this is none of your business."

"Don't order the lamb, it's mediocre. Pea soup's excellent, though."

Rhodey hangs up.

"I'm glad you're over that whole not sleeping, panic attack thing," Bruce says, after Tony's done confessing his confusion to him.

"I don't think you understand the severity of the situation, Bruce."

"Oh no, I think i understand the situation just fine." Bruce makes a face that Tony doesn't approve of. "Can I go back to work now?"

+

"The guy's a serial datist, you know," Tony says, when Rhodey finally picks up the phone.

"Serial what?" 

"One military guy after another. Do you really want to be fetishized? You of all people - hello?" 

The next time Tony gets Rhodey's password it goes:

`imallowedtohavealovelife`

`onlyifyouhavegoodtaste`

`gotohell`

`imsavingyoufromyourself`

"You realize they'll revoke my security clearance if this goes on."

They're having lunch, and Rhodey's complaining, as usual. "Try the crab legs, they're excellent." Tony picks up one for emphasis. "What are they going to do? Give my machine to someone else? I don't think so."

Rhodey makes a face, and orders the crab legs.

"No, but since when are you gay? Since they revoked Don't Ask Don't Tell?"

"Yes, Tony. That's exactly when I decided to be gay. It was just a date."

"Are you seeing him again? Because we need to talk about your mental state if you're going to see him again."

"So says Mr. PTSD."

"That's a low blow, Rhodey. I'm hurt." Tony clutches his chest for emphasis. It's weird, not having the arc reactor there. How can something that's been a part of him for so few years feel like it's essential to his being? A therapist would probably have an answer to that, but Tony doesn't believe in therapy, so he will probably never find out.

Rhodey rolls his eyes, and curses under his breath. It means he's listening to Tony, so Tony beams. "I hate you, man," Rhodey says. "Honestly, sincerely."

"I love you too."

+

`stopstalkingme`

`itsonlybecauseicare<3`

+

"- so you'd think he'd be grateful. Here I am, trying to be a good friend, wanting nothing more than to prevent him from falling into a bad relationship, and what do I get in return? Nada, zilch. Acrimony. What is wrong with him?"

Bruce opens his mouth. Shuts it again. "I really have to go," he says finally.

"You said that two hours ago. The world didn't end because you're still here." Tony pats him on the knee. "You're great, you know that. Who needs a therapist when I have you."

A long suffering expression sits itself on Bruce's face. Even more long suffering than the usual one. "I could use some therapy right now," he says. "It might help."

"Naw, you're fine. You're not green, that's good."

Tony scratches at his chest, and Bruce's gaze sharpens. "Hey, how are you, really."

"You know, I thought you'd never ask."

+

Pepper says, "You are the most stupid genius I have ever met."

This as she's throwing a stress ball at him. Technically, she claims she was throwing it at the far wall, but Tony just happened to be standing in its way. "Can we talk about Rhodey now?"

"No!"

"I'm so glad we decided to remain friends, Pepper."

Pepper stops glaring, long enough to smile and say, "Me too, actually."

She always had the most beautiful smile on a woman, ever. 

Shame Tony couldn't keep it on her face always. 

"So, about Rhodey."

"Just talk to him, Tony. Like a normal person does. Ask him out, that might help. Now please, I have to run your company."

+

`itsoverihopeurhappy`

`didntdeserveyou`

`uranass`

Tony picks up the phone. "I'm trying to be supportive here."

Rhodey sounds tired. "He was a good guy, Tony. He just wasn't -"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. What are your plans for tonight?"

"Oh, not much. Usual stuff, build another machine. Try not to think about clones. Maybe get some take-out."

"I could join you," Rhodey says, and there's something in his voice Tony almost understands. Almost - it shimmers in the periphery, just within grasp, but then Rhodey laughs and it's entirely gone. 

"Sure," Tony says, because it's easier than saying anything else. "Drop by."

+

`wasntmytypeanyway`

Tony stares at the screen for a while. Blinks at it, bites his lower lip, spins around in his chair. "Jarvis?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Nothing. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Well, sir." It's amazing, how neutrality can sound so judgemental. Tony flexes his fingers, slides them across the keyboard. Types out the new password and waits for Rhodey to call him:

"So?"

"Enough games," Tony says.

"That's the new password?"

"Maybe. Give it a try, you'll see. Also you're right. Completely not your type."

Rhodey laughs, and hangs up the phone.


End file.
